Rainy Day Randomness

So I wasted my 25 dollar concert ticket to see Peaches and Amanda Blank to sit in my room. Why is this? I have no clue but at least I have an incentive to post a new entry on this blog since I've been neglecting it. Sometimes it's dreary days like this that make me feel annoyed and irritated at the world. If I could have left campus and got in a car I would of. I would just drive anywhere... like to Montreal because its only five hours away. Humans are the most complex creatures in the world. Anyway I'm starting to rant so I'll get away from this subject and turn to another. The following is my latest poem that was written on a train beside the Hudson river as the sun was setting.

Suitcase Love

It rocks gently back and forth

I rock gently back and forth

We stop and continue onward

The Destination is understood

But what happens next is always

the question that weaves through my mind

I sit surrounded by others

Their bodies weary and anxious

At night I watch bright lights over water

Always thinking thoughts that stay within

It's just me and my lovely possessions

All of it zipped up tight, kept close by

It's all that we have as we move

between points in life

Our bags are written with warning

Fragile, Handle with Care, Property of...

We are all so brave and we don't know it

We face the world hoping we don't get lost

Hoping we make it to where we need to be

Wherever that is.

The Beautiful Youth

This is one of the first poems I ever wrote:

Blossoming in the sun for the very first time.
Many of us are unsure. Once we were infants,
But now we enter a new world.
This modern world of reality

Like sparkling gems just discovered.
We are treasured, delicate creatures
Every turn provides new experiences.
So young and so very delicate.

Easy to tear

New minds are awakened and always wanting
Materialism, Music, Sex, Love?
Wanting another around them. Wanting to be wanted
In some shape or form.

Easy to break.

She wants him to put his arms around her.
He wants to feel her under cold sheets.
We want some form of solitude.
Parents know us, but don't really.

So we run away

Searching for acceptance
Not always striving for non conformity,
Not always thinking about the next step
Innocence no longer exists.

Dangerous creatures.
Crying out for help in silence while screaming,
"Let us have this moment, give it to us!"
We shout to be heard while indulging in a poison of choice.

Smile and have another while you weep inside.

Inside we hide secrets that lie buried
They lie buried underneath insecurities, fear, and anger.
Along with dreams and ambitions
Waiting...

to find a definition for ourselves
to stay out all night until the sun rises
to have love or just a lover
to discover where our choices will lead us

Such intense, complex creatures.
Ask us to define ourselves
Who are we?
Still finding that out, slowly

For now we are the beautiful youth.

I was a senior in high school when I wrote this. It was after school and I was angry about something that happened with my father. I sat on the floor of my bedroom and started writing. It was amazing how easily my thoughts came together, because poetry is not my forte when it comes to writing. Three poems came out of that session and The Beautiful Youth was the last one I wrote after I calmed down.

I think it is a piece that resonates with most adolescents at the age of seventeen and eighteen who are in that transition period, getting ready to be on their own. Even now at the age of twenty-one I'm constantly questioning everything, maybe just not in such an angsty way.